Chapter 9

The day was warming up, and Charlie woke up from his sleep to see his bedroom filled with bright sunlight. He left the room, took a shower in the bathroom, and went downstairs to go over the notes and tunes he had worked on until 2 am that same morning. It was now 10 o’clock.

Jean Marie was already up and about, picking up after their dinner last night of chicken and mashed potatoes – a comforting meal to help Charlie relax after working so hard on his new songs. He had now written nearly ten songs – some were complete works, with lyrics and arrangements for other instruments, while others were melodies without lyrics, and some were just outlined lyrically that he had only one riff in mind for. She noticed his presence when she heard him singing out some lyrics to one of these songs.

You can heal the pain in my heart
By just lookin’ in my eyes
But you break it all over again
When you tell me your lies…

“Sounds really nice, Charlie,” she said.

“I think it’s too – I don’t know, cheesy,” he responded, still plunking his fingers on the piano keys. “I am trying to write this song about a guy who has spent all of his time chasing this one gal, and every time they see each other he falls in love with her. But she can’t be straight with him.”

“Does she love him, too?”

“I think so,” he looked up from the piano to make eye contact with Jean Marie.

“So she doesn’t know what she wants, then?”

“That’s a good line…” Charlie returned to the piano.

When you gonna know what you want
Can’t I make you understand
My mind is made up
You’ve gotta join me in the land

“Oh, that’s crap!” He slammed his hand on the piano keys.

“Well, you’ll come up with something,” Jean Marie knew when Charlie was having creatively challenges moments, and also to let him be alone during these times.
Charlie had started to call up several of the musicians that he had played with in the last several months. They had set up gigs together at different clubs, playing with a blues band one night and then a rock band the next. Charlie would ask to rehearse some nights with the bands so he could sit in and play with them for more than one song. He would only, on rare occasions, play an Accelerator hit from the past. When he did so, he would dedicate the song to Jean Marie.

Now that he had a camaraderie with musicians other than the boys from Accelerator, he had been asked to write and work on songs for some other bands. J.B. Parker had worked with Charlie on a recent track, called Tear Jerker for J.B.’s latest album, Heart-Stompin’ Shoes. The single started at #5 on the Rhythm and Blues billboard sales, and jumped to sit at the #1 spot for the next six weeks. There was talk about awards, and it was permanently added to J.B.’s play list and rights were being issued for various endorsements – from car commercials to television shows. Peter Smith, of B.E.B. – a rock band that started out ten years from when Accelerator was created, and had zoomed into stardom after their first album, No One Knows You, hit platinum and was reaching diamond status – had called Charlie up on to their stage at a recent show to play with them on their song Listen. Charlie played guitar and sang some of the vocals, and the band riffed out of the song into the lyrics of Accelerator’s song Broken Ear. After the show, Peter Smith had talked with the rest of B.E.B. and asked Charlie to work on their next album with them. Charlie then wrote three songs for the album with Peter; My Highway, Pony, and Paper Life. Charlie sang a duet with Peter on Paper Life, which was released as the first single from the album (called Veneer) and gave the band another #1 hit.

Working with the other bands was not only exposing Charlie’s music to other audiences, but was also giving Charlie a taste of other genres and ways of working with sound. The bands that used Charlie’s songs did so because of his characteristic way of working with the rhythm section to create punchy lyrics to play on the beat and back beats, as opposed to sing-songy lyrics which can make singers sound “too sugary,” as he put it. Charlie was also learning from the musicians how to take this sound and apply it to blues rhythms and pop/rock, dance rhythms.

The credit always lied with Jean Marie, since it was her influence that lead him out to the clubs to begin with. Her reward was the excitement and happiness that it brought to Charlie. He was so sullen before, feeling robbed by Terry and Frank, and swindled by Sheila. To have these relationships, that were built on over two decades of living and working closer together than any kind of family, suddenly dissolve into nothing more than bitter memories and physical scars on his body was shocking and nearly debilitating to him. Jean Marie had seen the light come into Charlie’s eyes when he heard the old Accelerator songs being played on the radio, and knew how much those years of work and fun meant to him when he told her all of his stories in the gym while they tried to repair his body together.

He was still hammering out chords and working on lyrics when she slid in next to him on the piano bench.

“Still working on this one?”

“Yeah, how long has it been anyways?”

“It’s been,” she looked up at the clock on the fireplace mantle, “3 hours. Are you tired?”

“I could use a break.”

“Let’s go sit on the patio and have a drink,” she said as she got up from the bench. She reached out her arm to him and playfully helped to pull him up from the bench.

“Look at that!” she said, pointing to the indentations on the leather cushion on the bench.

“A perfect fit!” he said, laughing at the sight of his two butt cheeks on the cushion.

They went out to the patio bar, and Charlie made himself a soda and poured Jean Marie some water with a lemon wedge.

“Charlie, I have been thinking about something for a while now, and I want to hear what you think about it too.”

“Oh god, you’re not getting a tattoo are you? I have enough for both of us,” he said, gesturing with a head nod to his arms.

“No, no thanks. No tattoos for me. It has to do with the gym.”

He placed the drinks on the table and sat down next to her. “Do tell.”

“Well, you’re really getting back into your music now, and I don’t know why you don’t have one already but I think that you should scrap the gym and build a recording studio in there.”

“Really? Wow, I hadn’t thought about that,” he said, scratching his head. “That would be a better use of the space. But you still use the gym – what about you?”

“I could move all that stuff into one of the bedrooms. We don’t need everything in there, but I think it would all fit into the guest room upstairs.”

Charlie gave it some more thought, and got up from his seat and walked into the gym. He pushed the doors open and looked around at the room. He tried to imagine the room empty of all the equipment, and pictured where he would put a sound booth, a keyboard, which wall he could hang his guitars on. It was exciting to him to think of this transformation.

Jean Marie walked in behind him, after watching him examine the room for a few moments. “What do you think? Would it work?”

“Oh yeah – there’s plenty of space for a studio in here. I think it would look really cool. Would you want to help with it?”

“What? Why would I want to help? I don’t know the first thing about recording studios!”

Charlie turned around in the room, and stopped, facing Jean Marie. “You know, Sheila
would have never told me about this, if she had this idea. I would just come in one day and * poof * there would be a recording studio.”

“Well, first of all I am not Sheila,” she crossed her arms at her chest. “And secondly, I don’t want to surprise you with something that I have no business doing in the first place. But you love working on your music, and you’re always complaining about having to rent space somewhere to lay down a track. So it just seems to me, use this room for a studio and you can work whenever you want.”

Charlie walked right up to her, and pulled her arms apart. “I know you’re not Sheila,” he said, kissing her right hand. “And secondly,” he held up her left hand, “you can surprise me anytime you want, whether you have any business doing so or not,” and with that he kissed the back of her left hand.

“Do you love me, Charlie?”

“You know I love you, I love every bit of you.”

“Are you going to divorce Sheila?”

“I am going to divorce her, yes.”

“When?”

Charlie rolled his eyes and stepped back from Jean Marie. “Well, darling, when do you want me to do it? It’s something I am really dreading, because I know she’s going to turn it into an ordeal.”

“I’m sorry, but I think it’s got to be done fairly soon.”

“Well, I guess I need to call up my lawyer and make an appointment to draw up the papers…”

Jean Marie interrupted him, “Because I’m not going to have a baby with someone who won’t marry me.”

“…and figure out what exactly she’ll get from me. Wait. What? What did you say?” His eyes were large and his body froze in place.

“I said, ‘I’m not going to have a baby with someone who won’t marry me.’ Ok?”

“Does that mean that you are planning to have a baby with me, or does that mean that you are having a baby with me?”

“Hmm, well…” she rubbed her belly with her hands, “I think the latter statement is more fitting.”

“You’re – you are pregnant? With my… I mean, our…”

“I am pregnant with our baby, Charlie,” she said, holding his face in her hands.

“Holy shit! I mean, oh my god! Jean Marie!” He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in close to his body. “Maybe we need to make this into a nursery then!”

Jean Marie laughed and cried, saying “No, we can use the room next to ours for that. I’ve been thinking about that, too.”

“Well, you’re just a little decorator now. Come here my designer, I think we need to celebrate.” He kissed her face and neck and belly, and walked in to the house giving her a piggy-back ride. He plopped her on to the sofa, and sat there with her. “I don’t know who to call. My parents are both dead and gone. Should we call your folks up?”

“That can wait,” she said, pulling him closer to her and kissing his head.

Chapter 8

Through the following weeks, Charlie and Jean Marie would go on numerous dates. Dinners at restaurants, drinks at bars, and once Charlie’s injuries were nearly all but a memory they would go to clubs to listen to musicians and bands.

It was Jean Marie’s suggestion, to get back out into the clubs to hear what people were doing with music. Charlie was reluctant to go, at first.

“Why do I need to hear what other people are doing? I’m tired of hearing all the crap that’s coming out on the radio today,” he had told her.

“Don’t play that game with me,” she said back to him. “I hear you go down to your guitar at night. And the piano.” This is where Charlie would turn his head and try to wave her off. “You know you want to keep playing.”

“Well, playing at home in – what I thought was privacy – is completely different than playing at a club.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, mister. No one’s invited you to come and sit in on a stage.”

Jean Marie had not only noticed his clandestine playing at home, but also caught him watching television programs of artists he loved, and some he’d collaborated with. She wouldn’t say anything, but she took mental notes of how he would stare and watch hour-long programs, when he couldn’t stand to sit still for dinner for more than 30 minutes at a time. If he knew she saw him watching these shows, or listening to records of past shows and recordings of Accelerator, he would quickly switch off the television or the stereo.

“Let’s just go listen, and if they stink we can make fun of them under our breath,” she said.

Finally, he relented, and they were off to a nearby blues bar.

The band was rolling into their set when Jean Marie and Charlie walked in. It was J.B. Parker and his band, and they were getting to the end of their classic song, Lullaby Baby. Charlie was recognized by some of the audience members, and perhaps it was one of them who approached J.B. himself to tell him that Charlie Clark from Accelerator was in the crowd.

J.B. said in the mic after their song, “Charlie Clark, are you out there?” He peered into the audience, while his band mates were caught off guard by J.B.’s question.

Charlie blushed and felt the weight of his legs in the chair. Jean Marie was ecstatic, picked up Charlie’s hand from the table and waved it into the air. Charlie was at first shocked that she was trying to embarrass him, but looked at her face and saw the huge smile that was plastered all over it. He stood up and waved on his own volition at J.B.

“Get yo ass up here, man!” J.B. said. “Ladies and gents – this is Charlie Clark, from that rock band you all know and love, Accelerator.”

Charlie walked up to J.B. and gave him a hug. They exchanged some pleasantries to each other, and Charlie walked over to the guitarist and shook his hand. Then J.B. started to play the beginning chords of Linda’s Eyes, and looked to Charlie to start in with the vocals.

Well I said I’d be around
Until the end of time
But look at us now, kid
Anyone can see the signs

My heart’s made of gold
And your love was made to last
But tell me how I’d know
You just couldn’t shake the past

I’m looking right into
Linda’s eyes
I’m seeing into her soul
You know I could just die
Staring into
Linda’s eyes

Through the song, Charlie kept his eyes closed behind his sunglasses. He didn’t see how the crowd, mainly filled with blues fans and bar hoppers, responded to his heart-felt singing. His voice had so often filled stadiums and amphitheaters, to be broadcast in this small venue made the crowd feel immersed in his voice. People were singing along with him, remembering how young they were when they first heard this song on the radio. It reminded people of their first dates, or their first break up, proms, after school make-out sessions behind the school. People learned to play the guitar with this song. Countless boys and girls had sung along with Charlie and the band in their rooms, singing to their imaginary audiences from their stage in front of the bed.

The band was getting into the song in ways that Accelerator had never been able to. Before, with his band, the song sounded routine. Charlie knew when Terry would come in for a solo, when Twig would slam down on the tom-toms. But with J.B.’s band, it sounded like a different animal. Not completely changed, but mixed up enough to sound magical to Charlie. He could hear his song in the way they were playing it, but the drummer was using the high-hat instead of the symbols, like Twig would have. The chords were played on the rhythm guitar, but J.B. would echo strains from the harmony out from his shiny blue and sliver electric guitar. Charlie was used to hearing Terry compete with the harmony when he played the song. This twist on an old song made Charlie feel spiritually awakened, his ears opened up to new possibilities with his sounds. When Charlie was finished with the last line, he opened up his eyes, and felt tears streaming down his face. His rehabilitation was complete.

He walked off the stage to applause from the audience and the band, and gave J.B. a big hug. Finding his table, he plopped into the chair as if he had just made love and was pleasantly, but completely, exhausted.

“Are you glad we came?” Jean Marie asked.

“Incredible,” was all he could think to say. “That was just – incredible.”

They stayed to hear the end of the set, and afterwards Charlie and Jean Marie walked up to the stage.

“You guys sounded great tonight, J.B.,” Charlie said.

“Hey man! It was great to play around with you, too!” J.B. said, handing his guitar off to an assistant. “Do you come here often?”

“Ah, no,” Charlie looked at Jean Marie. “This gal suggested we go out to listen to some music tonight, and I remembered this little blues club a way from my house. So, here we are.”

“Well, mighty good thinking, miss,” J.B. said to her.

“This is Jean Marie, J.B.” Charlie said, as he put his arm around her shoulders.

“Hi Jean Marie. Parlez vous français?”

“Ah, oui monsieur! Comment sa vas?”

“Ha, ha! Bien! Bien, comme je vois une jolie fille!”

“Ok, that’s enough you two – no fair,” Charlie protested. “I didn’t know you spoke French, Jean Marie.”

“Well, my parents were Canadian, and moved to the states when I was three. So I speak French and English.”

“I’ve met my share of Cajun women,” J.B. offered. “That’s how I know what little French I speak.” His guitarist walked up to J.B. and tapped his shoulder. “Well, looks like we’ve got to hit the road now, folks. Ted just told me we’re supposed to be at the next town before tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, you’re touring?” She asked.

“Yeah, trying to find out where all our fans are hiding at! Listen, Charlie, gimme your number – we need to jam next time I’m in town!”

“Sure thing,” and Charlie wrote down his phone number on a napkin. They shook hands one last time and J.B. gave Jean Marie a kiss on the hand.

They walked out of the club and got back into their car, making their way back to Charlie’s house. “That was great,” he said to her.

“I’m glad they called you up there,” she said back. “And I’m really glad you went up there to sing with them.”

“Me too,” he said.

“How did they know that song?”

“Well, a while back when it was a big hit for us, everyone was covering it. I guess they had probably tinkered with the song, too, when it came out. What really blew me away was how new and fresh it sounded to me up there, playing with them. If you heard what it sounded like when we played it, well, you would know – it was like being on a different planet.”

Charlie went on the whole drive home, getting increasingly excited while he told Jean Marie more stories about the song, the band, and past adventures.

“One time we were playing for these drunks, in some hick town off of highway 49. Real biker-type crowd, certainly not the type to normally pay a quarter to hear an Accelerator song on the jukebox, if you catch my drift.”

She nodded along to the story.

“And we get to the part of the set where we play Linda’s Eyes, and I just knew we were going to get into a heap of trouble if we started playing this love song to these huge, burly guys – in their leather vests and drinking their Jack Daniel’s right out of the bottle. So I tell Terry, “just keep it quick this time, no solos,” and he nods at me – he’s thinking the same thing I am. We start the song, and wouldn’t you know it…”

“They booed you off the stage?” she asked.

“No, no – totally unbelievable. They got up and started to dance with each other. It was a gay biker bar! Can you hear me? A gay biker bar! These guys were waiting for love songs to come on! I nearly stopped singing when I saw them holding hands, I didn’t know what kind of trick Frank had played on us.”

He continued the stories when they got home, and finally when Jean Marie announced that she was going to bed, he walked into his library to play the guitar by himself. He stayed up playing around with his old songs and some new riffs until dawn that morning.

Charlie continued to find himself being invited on to stage after stage of every bar, honky-tonk, juke joint, and dive he walked in to. It wasn’t always the same.

Sometimes, the band would ask the audience to coerce Charlie up on the stage with their applause. Other times, they would send out a member to talk to Charlie during one of their breaks in the session. He wouldn’t always join in as a singer for the bands; if he felt that the crowd wasn’t going to be too happy about their beloved band inserting a different face at the head of the mic, he would grab a tambourine or a guitar and play along as best he could to one of their songs. But on the nights when the bands would do him the honor of playing an Accelerator song for him, he would proudly take to the stage and belt out the tune with all of the gusto and life he could muster.

Jean Marie started to notice that he was getting a little more reluctant, as the weeks went on, to sing songs from his old band. In the beginning, he would saunter up to the stage, wave to the crowd, give a hand shake to the various band members, and would happily sing whatever they suggested. Or, if nothing sprang to their minds, he would suggest any old hit he could think of. But lately, his walks up to the stage seemed more stiffened, almost taking on the demeanor of a pupil being called to the front of the class to demonstrate an algebra problem. Not completely dejected or deflated, but certainly not bounding out of his seat like he used to.

“What’s the matter?” she asked him in bed one night, after one of these shows.

“Hmm?”

“You know – you just seemed, I guess unimpressed with things when Johnny Mac called you up on stage tonight. Are you feeling sick?”

“No, that’s – well, that’s not it exactly.”

“Come on, tell me what’s wrong,” she turned to face him, resting her arm above his head on his pillow.

“It’s just beginning to hit me, you know? I’m not the lead singer of that band anymore. But here I am, Charlie Clark, and all anybody knows me for is the songs I had with Accelerator. I just feel like a monkey on a chain, singing the old tunes for pennies.”

“You’re not a monkey on a chain, Charlie,” she said, poking the tip of his nose with her pinky finger. “You’re my monkey on a chain!”

He laughed, and tickled the inside of her arm. “I know, I know. I’m just being sour I guess.”

“Well, if you really don’t want to sing those old songs anymore, you should just write some new ones.”

“Honey, it ain’t as easy as wanting to write some new songs,” he chided her.

“Why isn’t it that easy? I hear you banging on the piano every day, and it sounds terrific to me. You could hammer out another hit in no time flat, I bet you!”

“Your enthusiasm is very uplifting dear, but who am I going to sell my new ‘hits’ to? The label didn’t stick up for me when Terry and the boys wanted me out. Frank probably wouldn’t touch me for fear of the wrath he’d get from Terry. And I certainly don’t think that Sheila is going to help me out.”

Indeed, Sheila wouldn’t have helped him out of much lately, except perhaps to help him out of a career entirely. Since the separation eight months ago, they had hardly said a word to each other. They had tried to have a conversation over the phone several times, but usually Sheila would be in a hurry to hang up, insisting that she had more pressing matters to deal with, or that she was waiting for another person to call with this or that news. He knew she was giving him the brush off, and at times he liked to make her feel uncomfortable by purposefully not taking the hint. But most of the time, he just wanted to see how she was doing, and wanted her to know that he was doing fine in spite of their separation. If he was feeling particularly filled with piss and vinegar, he would mention something that Jean Marie had done to brighten his day. With Jean Marie in his life, things had obviously improved from the standpoint of his physical health and well being. Mentally, however, things were stellar in comparison to his life with Sheila, and Sheila understood this without having to hear it from Charlie.

“She’s been talking to Frank about me, I heard,” he continued. “He said that she called him up last week, saying that she wanted to ask him about how the tour wrapped up and how album sales were going. Then she dove in and said, ‘What has Charlie been up to.’”

“And did Frank tell her all about how I’m brainwashing you against her, in my plot for world domination?”

“Uh – no, he left that part out.”

“Oh well.”

“Anyway,” he rolled his eyes at her, “he told her that I’d been out singing at some places, and that it seemed that I was doing great and having a good time lately. I think that pissed her off, because after their conversation I only have been getting her answering machine at home.”

“Oh, I see. Is she the jealous type?”

“Are you kidding me? She wrote the book on jealousy. She can make you feel jealous, just as easily as she gets jealous.”

“So hearing that from Frank must have gotten under her skin, I suppose.”

“Yeah, that’s an understatement. So, you see why I can’t use her connections to help me get back in the game again.”

“Charlie, my dear, you severely underestimate yourself. Don’t you think that people worked with you in the past because of your personality and talents – not because of Sheila’s bribes and manipulation?”

“Well I – hmm. When you put it to me like that…”

“And don’t you think that if you got a hold of some of those past producers and label executives, they’d scoop up the chance to work with The Charlie Clark? I think they would.” Charlie was staring out the window, thinking about her logic. “Charlie, obviously people know you for you – they call you up on stage, not because of your band, but simply because it’s you!”

“I believe you.”

“Good. So, does that mean you’re going to write songs and send them to your friends now?”

“Right now? You want me to get up and go write a hit song right now?”

“Oh, stop it!”

They shared some more laughs, and went to sleep.

The next morning, Charlie got up before Jean Marie did and made them both breakfast. Then he sat down at the piano and started to play some chords and find riffs that caught his attention. She woke up at the sound of this music, sat at the table to eat her breakfast, and listened as he worked through his song writing process.

Several hours after breakfast, the phone rang. Jean Marie joked with Charlie that it was his agent calling, “I bet they heard your new songs, and want to book you some gigs right now!” She got up from the couch and picked up the phone. It was Terry.

“Hi, is Charlie there?”

“Can I ask who’s calling, please?”

“This is – well, tell him it’s Terry.”

“Ok…” she was puzzled by the stammer in his voice, thinking that perhaps this was a prank phone call. She set down the phone and went to get Charlie.
“Someone on the phone saying they’re Terry wants to talk to you.”

Charlie set down the pen he was using on the piano’s music rest. “What?”

“Should I just hang up on them? Do you think it’s a prank? Would he be calling you here?”

After a few seconds of thoughts, Charlie got up from the bench and made his way to the phone. Just thinking about Terry made his shoulder ache and stiffened his gait.

He picked up the phone in a swift move, and barked out a “Hello?”

“Hello? Charlie, is that you?”

“Who is this?” he replied.

“This is Terry, man. It’s me.”

There was a pause as Charlie grasped that it really was him, and as Terry waited for some semblance of a salutation from Charlie. Nothing came out of Charlie's end of the line.

“Well, anyways,” Terry continued, “I was just calling because I heard that you had healed up, and I wanted to know how, er, what you were doing lately.”

“Why?” Charlie was not in the mood to fall prey to Terry’s charm, nor to give him fodder for gossip.

“Sheesh, old man – I didn’t think this call was going to be so tough.”

“Well, for you it is. What did you expect me to do? Fall on the ground and kiss it, because Terry Friedland called me!”

“I didn’t think that was going to happen,” Terry’s voice quickly changed from light to serious as he realized what he had gotten himself into. “I thought we would just, I don’t know – catch up. With each other.”

Another pause.

“Listen,” Charlie said, “I don’t need to catch up with you, and I certainly don’t need you to tell me what you’re doing with your god-awful life. Got it?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“And if you try to call me again, don’t be surprised if no one answers the phone.” Charlie slammed the receiver down, ending the conversation immediately.

“Jean! Jean!” He hollered her name, echoing it through the rafters on the ceiling.

“What?” Jean Marie came running back to him. “What’s the matter?”

“If you ever hear Terry call me again, if he ever tries to talk to me again, hang the fucking phone up and pull the cord out of the wall!”

Jean Marie was surprised to see Charlie’s face so red, and to hear him speaking so loudly at her, she started to feel tears well up in her eyes.

“Ok, Charlie – I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” He was still barking, but sincerely didn’t want to make her feel badly about the situation. “Terry is a slime-ball, and I don’t know why he called me, but I really doubt he wanted to play catch-up with me.”

“Is that what he said?” She was calming down, and reached out to hug Charlie.

“Oh, don’t bother,” he swatted his hands at her gesture. “I’m alright. Just, you know, mildly enraged!” He straightened his hair with the palm of his hand while he rolled his eyes, embarrassed at his reaction. “I can’t believe how mad I got. But as soon as I heard his voice, I felt this red, fiery rage pulsing through my veins.”

“Wow,” was all Jean Marie could think to respond with. “I had no idea he made you that mad.”

“Well, I think I knew I had it in me. It’s been festering for quite a while. But, you know what? Having told him off like that, it’s a relief actually.”

“Getting all steamed up?”

“No. Actually – yes. Getting steamed up, and telling him that I don’t trust him. Before, I was just thinking these things in my head, and I suppose it was sort of lurking in me. Just sitting in my gut like a ball of lead. But now, it’s out there, and he’s got to deal with it, but I’ve let him know where we stand. On my end, anyway.”

“Do you think he was trying to find something out about what you’re doing with your music?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Frank told him I was playing some sets around the town, and he got jealous. Maybe he’s going to try to tell me I can’t play the Accelerator songs anymore, since I’m not in the band. Who knows.”

Chapter 7

Monday morning rolled in with an overcast sky in Charlie’s neighborhood. It was going to be a warm, stifling day. One where the heat is trapped inside the clouds, and no wind or sun would erupt into the sky. Charlie was sleeping in his library every night since Sheila’s departure. She had moved into an apartment Chad helped secure for her. No doubt she was already setting up her little nest, Charlie thought. Meanwhile, he was living in the disarray of the house. It seemed cavernous without her large presence in it. Their six bedrooms, five bathrooms, the library, her office, the two kitchens – it all seemed highly disproportionate for one man. He avoided setting foot into the extra bedrooms, only appearing for a moment or two in their master bedroom. He would come in and grab whatever clothing he needed, deposit his dirty clothes on the floor, and use the guest shower and bath to clean up.

It was an awkward affair, trying to get clean with a cast and a bum shoulder. He tried to use a garbage bag on his leg cast, tucking the bag into the opening at the top of the cast near his knee. He then wrapped the opening with surgical tape. This made it somewhat sealed off from the water, but standing in a shower with a slippery foot wrapped in plastic is a death wish. He grabbed one of the bar stools from the kitchen and shoved it into the shower stall. The spectacle was hilarious some days, abysmal on others. This was an abysmal day, and Charlie just sat naked with his plastic-wrapped leg in the shower, letting the water hit his thighs and run to his feet for about twenty minutes. He thought about what the old blind man had told him at the hospital, that a broken hip won’t kill you –the opportunistic infections like pneumonia and blood clots finish the job. He finally mustered up the energy to swivel around and get his shaved head wet, and soap up the rest of his body. When he was rinsed off, he stepped out of the shower and toweled himself dry. He couldn’t help but think that if Sheila was there, this entire ordeal would be done so much more quickly. An extra pair of able hands was infinitely more useful than one able hand and one arm that was bent at 90 degrees.

Getting dressed was simple, as long as he was alone. He would slowly work his jockey shorts on, shimmying them up one side, then another, with his one hand. The he would slip on a button-up shirt and decide whether or not he should actually button it up. And that was it. If he got a chill, the robe would be the outer-garment of choice.

However, today would call for more clothing than the norm, since his therapist was due to arrive at 11am for his first session in his home gym.

He found an old pair of sweat pants in his dresser, and laid them out on the bed. He sat at the foot of the bed and got his busted leg in first, then was able to maneuver his good leg into the other side of the pants. He didn’t think it would be appropriate to wear a button-up shirt to physical therapy, so he found a t-shirt that was large enough for him to stretch and pull the collar over his head after he’d gotten his wounded arm and shoulder in the sleeve first. Socks and shoes were an impossibility at this point, so he stayed with his leather and lambs wool slippers.

At five minutes to 11, the doorbell rang. He was sitting near the door, awaiting the arrival of the physical therapist, and was able to rise from his seat at the nearby dining room table and open the door in about 45 seconds. When he opened the door he was surprised to see a young woman, wearing track pants and a tight-fitting t-shirt standing at the doorstep. “Oh, hello,” she said. “I’m Jean Marie, your physical therapist.”

“Yes,” he replied, trying to stop looking so obviously surprised at her appearance. “Sorry, I guess I was expecting a man. I never did learn your name before, Jean Marie. Right?”

“Yes, that right. And you’re Charles?”

“Call me Charlie, please. No one calls me Charles,” he said, “anymore.”

“Well, Charlie, we should get started then.” She looked inside the doorway, indicating her interest in entering the house.

“Terrific,” he said, and he pushed the door open and tried to step out of the entry way.

“I heard that you had some equipment brought in for your recovery? Can you show me where it is?” she asked.

“Certainly,” he paused for a second. “Well, I think I know where it is – I only just got home a few days ago, so I haven’t seen the room myself.” They started to make their way to the back of the house. “I believe it is in the pool house, out back.”

“Wow, what a place you have here,” she commented as they walked through the dining room, the kitchen, the living room and into what appeared to be a room devoted to a large television set. “I bet you get crowds over here to watch this tv!” She exclaimed.

“Well, nothing recently,” he said, and realizing that he sounded like an old codger, quickly added, “but I suppose if you’d like to, you could switch it on any time you’d like.” He nearly chocked with embarrassment, hoping she wouldn’t catch the double-entendre he had unconsciously made. If she did notice it, she was too polite to say so.

“That’s very nice of you to offer,” she replied. “Is that the pool house?” she said, as she pointed to a building with two stories, the size of a two-car garage. It was painted the same color at the exterior of the main house, a butter yellow with white trim. The doors were sliding glass, French doors, coated with a tint to make it reflect the pool waters outside.

“Yes, that’s where Sheila set up my equipment, I was told.”

They walked into the pool house’s first floor, with Charlie opening up the sliding door all the way to let the light from outside pour in. Jean Marie quickly walked around the room to take inventory of the equipment.

“Well, I see you have a universal gym, and some free weights,” she examined everything with the eye of a professional. “Ah, that’s what I wanted to see,” she said as she pointed to the arm-cranking machine Charlie had used at the hospital.

“Yeah, what do you call that thing?”

“It’s an upper-body cycle.”

“Well, that’s logical,” he replied, wondering why he didn’t think to call it that in the first place. “I’ve been calling it an arm-cranking machine.”

“That sounds medieval!” She laughed. “Some people call them arm-bikes. They’re really good for getting your shoulder strength up, and allows you to put your arm through a whole range of motion,” she could see his puzzlement and stopped, “but we’ll get to that later.”

She walked back to where he was standing, in the doorway, and said “Why don’t we see what we’re up against, ok? Why don’t you tell me what happened.”

“Do you have a glass of wine, or perhaps a bottle of whiskey on you?”

“No,” it was her turn to look confused.

“Well then, let’s head back to the house so you can get the whole enchilada. Do you like a martini or a margarita before lunch?”

“Uh, neither?” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Very well, virgin bloody Mary’s it is!” and he made his way back to the house, while Jean Marie followed him like a bewildered child, confused and curious all at once to find out who this man was.

After he made their drinks, they went back out to the pool area and sat at the glass patio table. He told her about blacking out after the bus hit him, how the doctors had him working his other arm out to keep it in shape while he was laid up in bed at the hospital, and then decided to delve into the latest news.

“And then my wife decided that I would somehow heal better without her being physically present.” He finished his drink with one last healthy gulp, and looked up at Jean Marie to gauge her reaction. She was holding on to her glass, which was still full of the drink, and looking at him in a pitiful way.

“Don’t feel sorry for me, young lady,” he said. “I’ve handled it quite well I think. I’m still brushing my teeth, that’s a good sign, right?”

“First off, you’re probably not more than ten years older than me, so you don’t have to call me a young lady,” she answered him, sounding annoyed with his patronizing tone. “Secondly, Charlie, I don’t feel sorry for you. I am just wondering how a guy like you, living in a house like this, can have such a crappy week.”

“Well, sorry for taking the wrong impression,” Charlie said, and tried to eek out another sip from his empty glass.

“No apologies necessary. Look, Charlie, you’re going to be cursing a storm up with me as we go through the next weeks together, believe me. I’m going to put you through more pain as I try to get your strength back to normal, or perhaps even better than normal, so let’s be honest here.”

He nodded his head as she spoke, used to taking the authority of women in stride.

“You’re my employer, and I’m here to help you. You tell me what you want, and I’m going to give it to you.”

“I certainly wasn’t expecting to hear you say that!”

“What were you expecting me to say, then?”

“Probably something along the lines of, ‘You’re going to do XYZ and you’re going to like it or else,’ I think.”

“Do you want me to say that?” she asked him.

“No, I don’t think so,” he said, sounding strangely confident.

“Well good, because I’m here to make you feel better, get some of your strength back, and make sure that we have a good time doing it.” She continued, “But it is still going to hurt like hell, sometimes.”

“Well, for starters then we should have a drink to toast the beginning of this new chapter in my life,” he said, watching for her response.

“I think we already toasted, Charlie.”

“Correction – I’m already toasted.” She wasn’t laughing. “Are you always this prickly?”

“No, but I am beginning to see that you are pretty frisky.”

“Well, Jean Marie, I have felt a little cooped up lately,” he said, feeling awkward by her assessment of him. “I think that’s why I’m looking to get you buzzed, for entertainment’s sake.”

“Sorry, Charlie,” she said with a laugh. “I bet you’ve heard that one before. I don’t get buzzed on the job.”

“Ok, Officer Marie.”

“It’s Walker – Jean Marie Walker,” she corrected him.

“Ok, then – Officer Walker. You know, with a last name like that, I would thin you were a WHISKEY drinker. You know – Johnny Walker?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Oh, you’ve heard that one before then, too?” He grinned at her.

“Here’s the deal,” she said, sitting up straight in the patio chair. “I’ll be here
at least three times a week, and we’ll start out with stretches, then get you to do some strength training. We can do cardio if you’d like.”

“Yeah, sure – whatever you recommend,” Charlie was responding to the authoritative tone in her stance and voice.

“Great! Then, I’ll be heading out of here now,” she stood up from her chair, and Charlie rose after her. “You know, that pool can come in handy too, for our workouts, when you feel up to it.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

He walked her back to the door, they shook hands, and he watched her get into her silver four-door sedan and drive off the property.

Jean Marie started coming every other day, each week. Charlie allowed her
to enter the house with her own key, so that he would have less of a need to get up from his station in front of the television. He was less depressed from the separation than he thought he would be, and contributed it to the company of Jean Marie. She was similar to Sheila, in as much as she controlled most of his actions during their visits, and wanted him to maintain a stronger attitude towards things in general, sometimes more so than he cared to.

Jean Marie would often come to the house, let herself in, and call out for Charlie. "Charlie, where are you? Are you in the gym again, working out on your own?" She would stumble upon him on the couch, and clap her hands to grab his attention. It was already grabbed, though, by her cute figure and brownish red mane of hair. Her energy seemed to seep through her skin and into an aura around her, and Charlie liked to give her a hard time so that her spirit would permeate to him more strongly. She would grab his good arm and help to hoist his body weight from the leather cushions. When he was upright, she would pat him on the shoulders, walking behind him to the pool house gym.
The standard work out consisted of him being herded among the various pieces of equipment by Jean Marie. She would stand beside him and count out the repetitions that he was completing, if they weren't discussing other matters.

Charlie could go on for several hours, telling her all about the various mischief he'd been involved in through the past decades. Stories about raucous trips to bars after sets, to see other bands they knew playing, heckling them and baiting them while they played. This would dissolve into a bar fight and the cops would be called, and the groups would offer to pay for damages or bribes or whatever it took to avoid getting booked and sent to the drunk tank overnight. On rarer occasions, the heckling would turn into challenges among the musicians.

"We were watching Sam Knox play this long solo on this stupid white and red guitar he loved. So Twig shouts out, "Hey Sam, you're supposed to toss out your girl's tampons, not play 'em!" and Sam stops, literally, in the middle of a note, and everyone in the bar turns to look at Twig. I mean, I'm looking at him, the bartender is looking at him, he could have been a ghost the way everyone was staring at him. But Sam, he didn't even look at him, he just said "Folks, I believe Twig from Accelerator is in the audience. And he's just offered to play my guitar tonight." And Twig, he looks up at Sam and his mouth has dropped to the floor."

"Who - Twig?" Jean Marie asked.

"Yeah. So he looks at me and Terry and we just throw our hands in the air. Aaron says,

"You get your ass up there before you get a bottle thrown in your face!" Twig stands up, and the audience is playing along, clapping their hands, and murmuring to themselves, "Who the hell is Twig?" He steps up on stage, grabs the tampon, and starts playing this horrible screeching crap. It's reverberating through the whole place, people are plugging their ears, it's terrible! Finally Sam steps in and takes the guitar back and says to the crowd - "And that's why drummers don't get at the front of the stage, folks." He hugs Twig, Twig buys a round for Sam and the band, and we skirted out of there feeling a little more sober than when we arrived."

"Crazy men," she said. "Liquor, music, and egos - dangerous combinations, right?"

"Well, it's all in the combination, darling."

"Okay, darling, let's see you do some free weights now." She led him over to a pyramid of weights and handed him the 5lb dumbbell. "Give me ten on the RIGHT, and as many as you can on the LEFT."

As he would complete a repetition, she would offer encouraging words. They did little to keep Charlie motivated. He wanted her to share up some of her stories.

"So, tell me what a gal like you does in this town when she isn't rehabilitating convalescents?"

"Oh, you know, just making sure I have enough food in the fridge."

"For what, your brood of eight illegitimate children?"

"Good, that's ten. Now the other side," she helped him switch hands with the dumbbell.

"No, not for my non-existent children. And they wouldn't be illegitimate, anyways."

"Oh, you have a husband?"

"No - not that you need to know of! Just kidding... hey, breath out when you lift, remember? Husband, boyfriend - none of that for me now."

"So then what's the point of the cute little workout clothes and nice
hairdos?"

Jean Marie was quiet. Finally, she looked at him and said, "Well, maybe they're a motivational tool I use in my business..."

Charlie picked up on her discomfort at his suggestion that she dressed provocatively, and realized after the fact that he made it sound like he thought she was flirting with him.

"I - I didn't mean to suggest anything, Jean Marie. Just putting my foot in my mouth again!" He flashed a grin to hopefully get her to play along.

"I know, Charlie. It's just," she took a deep breath. "Well, maybe I shouldn't be saying this."

Charlie was worried that he'd stumbled on some emotional hot button. Perhaps her last client had told her to show more skin for his workouts, and she felt terribly self-conscious about it? Or maybe she was formerly the fat girl in high school, and now that she was a hot physical therapist/personal trainer, she wanted to flaunt it?

"What is it?" he asked, cautiously.

"Ok, Charlie, that's enough." Charlie stared at her with bugged eyes, thinking he was in for a tongue lashing. "No! The weights, you can stop now!" She laughed at him, and took the dumbbell away and placed it on top of the pyramid.

"We should go have a drink. Of water, Charlie."

"For a second there I thought I was about to get placed in the iron maiden!"

"Well, if you had one in your gym like I have in mine, then maybe you would have been. Kidding, again," she said.

They walked back out to the pool patio table, and she continued inside to the kitchen.

She returned with two glasses filled with water and ice.

"Yummy," Charlie said, sarcastically, but then took his glass and gulped away half of it.

"So, Mr. Clark, how is the body feeling now after two months of this
work?"

"I would say probably better than before I even got hurt, to tell the truth." He set down his glass and looked out at the pool. It was a bright afternoon, and some leaves from the nearby birch trees had drifted onto the water. "I am thinking I am probably ready for the pool exercises we talked about a while ago. You know, I'm a Speedo guy, don't you?"

"Figures as much! It fits in with your rock star persona. Well, we could do that on my next visit, I'll bring a suit and some water weights for you, and maybe some trunks for you to wear over the Speedo!" They shared a laugh, knowing that they were both prolonging an inevitable awkward conversation. Charlie cracked first.

"Well, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable before, my wise crack about your clothes." He looked at her and winced, indicating his fear of her response.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm comfortable with what I wear, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I could change it up, you know?"

"No, no! That's not what I meant for you to think," he said. "Well, I don't know what it was I meant for you to think, actually. I guess I was just trying to... I don't know, be funny."

"Were you flirting with me?" she asked. Now she was wincing at him.

"Oh! That'd be pathetic, Jean Marie, don't you think? A man my age, flirting with someone like you?"

She was unmoved by his protestations, and continued to look him square in the face.

"Don't you think that would be ridiculous?" He asked her again.

"Not necessarily," she looked down at her hands, resting on her lap.

"Oh," he replied. He was taken by surprise at her candidness. During their visits, not once had she indicated that she was attracted to him, nor more interested in him than to get him to do this or that exercise. This was changing things a bit, and Charlie wasn’t so sure he liked where it was going.

“Well, Jean Marie, I don’t know what to tell you. Do you want me to flirt with you?”

“Oh, come on! That’d be pretty desperate of me, to want someone to flirt with me!” She was half smiling, but inside her heart was feeling very fragile. He had started to crack her professional demeanor, with each visit to his home. He would share his stories to her, and it made her believe that he wanted her to know about his life – more about it – than the normal clients would want her know. She continued, “It’s just that I think we have a really good chemistry going here, and I think it would be a good idea to know if one of us is feeling like this is leading to something other than just getting you back on your feet.”

“Well, then, I would say that I agree,” he replied, but paused. “You know, I think I could use something a little extra in this water. Do you want something from the bar?” He had asked her so many times before after their sessions if she wanted a drink, and been met with a polite “No thank you,” that he started to walk away from her without waiting for her response. He was a little stunned when she said, “I think I could take a Bloody Mary, now. Thanks.”

He stopped in his gait, and said, “Ok.” At the bar, he pulled out two glasses, poured in the vodka and tomato juice, found some celery sticks in the bar’s mini-fridge to place in the glass, and made his way back to her. “Hope you like a little more vodka than tomato juice in your Mary, Marie.”

“That’s fine, thanks,” she said, extending her hand to take both glasses from him, and then setting them down on the glass table.

“What were we talking about?” he asked, as he plopped into his chair. “Oh, yes – the chemistry.” He took a long sip from his glass, and she stirred hers with the celery stick.

“Ok, let’s cut the shit,” she said. Charlie’s eyes bugged out at the profanity. “I had to say something because I get the feeling that you like me, you know?”

“Yeah?” was all he could say back to her.

“Well, you tell me your stories and talk to me like I’m more than just, you know, you’re therapist. Am I right?”

“Do you want to be more than that to me? I mean, I don’t see you as hired help, if that’s what you’re saying. But I certainly am not trying to get you into bed, as well!”

She took a sip from her glass, and set it down. “No, I wouldn’t expect you to be trying to bed me, or anything like that. I just wanted to know if you, well…”

“Go on,” he was staring at her face with extreme concentration, wondering what her next words would be.

“Well shit, ok – I wanted to know if you wanted to try to make this something more than just therapist-client.”

"Wow,” he replied. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that, Jean Marie.”

“I did, so there,” she took another sip, polishing off her drink. “It’s been said. Now I feel like a total ass in front of you.”

“That’s a first, I’m sure!” He said. “I’m usually the one making myself feel like an ass in front of women!” He was genuinely surprised by her admission.

“Oh please, Charlie – the stories you tell me? I hardly believe that.”

“Oh, you can’t believe everything I say in there. I get my blood pumping and I start to grow a bigger head than normal.”

“I know what your reputation was like before the accident,” she looked at him with a measure of skepticism. “I have heard about the groupies, and the women before Sheila. I’m not totally naïve.”

“Oh, well, you heard about all that, huh? Been doing you homework?”

“You could say that. I didn’t want to come into this job unprepared.”

“I don’t blame you,” he took a bite of his celery stick. “But, I just don’t think you’re reading me straight. I’m not trying to pick up on you in there, I’m just shooting off my mouth, getting excited about old victories, you know?”

“Listen Charlie,” she leaned over the table. “All I know is what I feel in there. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything because I genuinely like you for you.”

“Ok,” he said, staring at her lips as they moved. He was feeling the vodka, the effects of the weight lifting, and her chemistry all acting on him at once. Maybe he did want to try to start something with her. He was Charlie Clark, after all. He could have any woman he wanted, with his fame and money. And here was this woman, a good ten years younger than himself, practically asking him to take her.
She continued to explain her thoughts, “And because I like you, I just wanted us to be honest with each other.”

“Listen, Jean Marie,” he leaned closer to her, “If you want to be totally honest, then I have to tell you, you are really attractive, and I must say that you can really make me feel good.”

“You mean with the workouts?”

“No, I mean good in all kinds of different ways.” He leaned right into her face and kissed her lips.

“I do?” She liked the kissing, and wanted him to keep talking sweet to her.

“You do,” he kissed her for several seconds longer. “And I hope I make you feel good, in different ways, too.”

She kissed him back, and nibbled his earlobes, and he started pulling her top off of her. She unbuttoned his shirt, and stroked the hair on his chest. She reached her hand down, past the waistband on his pants.

They had sex on the floor of the gym, and Jean Marie felt satisfied that this was as it was meant to be. In her work the client was supposed to feel more secure and positive about their body, and it was her job to make them feel that way. She had given Charlie a gift - the gift of confidence and satisfaction - in the most supreme was she could. She had never slept with a client before – for some reason he was different than the rest. Perhaps it was his charm, the stories he told, the way he tried to get her drunk after her visits.

Charlie felt that he was giving her what she needed, too; she wanted him to be attracted to her, and he was. He let her tell him that she wanted to make love to him, and it was a good pay off for both of them. Sheila hadn’t been around for weeks now, and he felt the need for this release for a while. The workouts with Jean Marie let him focus that energy into his therapy for a while, but being given the go-ahead from her allowed him to satisfy the primal desires he felt. But before their conversation on the patio that day, he hadn’t even considered the possibility of making love to Jean Marie. Now, however, he was seeing her in a new light. This made him wonder if things were forever changed between them.

“So, does this mean I’m done with the therapy?” he asked her.

“Well, I don’t think it does, unless you want it to be over?”

“I could still use your help,” he reached over to give his shirt to her. “But, if you think things are going to be weird now…”

“Things will still be the same, if you want,” she slipped the shirt on, but left it unbuttoned. “But we can have this, too.”

“That’s a bonus,” he said, grinning slightly to himself. “But, you know, Sheila and I – we’re still married. We’re separated, but married still.”

“I’m not trying to get in the way of you two, Charlie. This was something I thought you wanted, something I wanted too. You know?”

“I know,” he answered.

“It doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend-girlfriend, but it at least got the tension out of the air.” She got up and walked back to the patio to find her clothes.

Charlie stood up and put his shorts back on. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirrored wall of the gym, and noticed the muscles in his back and arms. His calves looked better than he had ever seen them before. He felt fresh, young, and powerful. He watched her, as she proudly took of his shirt and stood naked in his backyard. She pulled her pants on, and he admired the curve of her hips and how strong her arms looked when she flexed them. He was happy that he had just made love to this powerful woman, and was also happy that he didn’t have to shower her with praise or submit to her will to get her acceptance. She put her top back on, and sat down to put on her shoes.

“Well, then I guess I’ll see you in a day from now,” she called out to him.

“Yeah, but,” he walked out to her seat at the table, “if you wouldn’t mind, maybe we could go have a drink someplace other than the Clark Patio Bar tomorrow?”

“Sure, what time? Where do you want to go?”

They set up their first date, and she left the house. After she left, he went back into the bedroom for the first time since Sheila left, and slept like a baby.